While I was watching Oprah's show this afternoon, from which the topic was concerning about the way to cope up when a man
cheats on a woman, it somehow hit a nerve on me; that whatever I was doing about that time was put to halt. I clinged to the discussions as though it will give me a heave-ho again from the past and somehow would hear more from what I think I already knew, or so to speak. Oprah blabbers, is it really over when your man cheats on you? Will it make you more sensible to better pay attention to the person who hurt you and maybe will hurt you still, or just do something about it instead? Will it be difficult to be honest about the way you feel and just cover things up, so that no one gets frustrated, not even you- as the victim of infidelity? Will it be the motivating factor for you to find out the answers from the questions most commonly asked; what made it happen?what went wrong, was it me or was it him?

Dr. Phil, says the need to seek truth will bring forth much agony and a memory trauma. And the way to avoid these, you must extract facts of the details of the events or of the affair. Start with the basics;
why it happens? the situation might be crucial when you dont know why the guy cheats on you and you are prone to think that you are the reason.Or it might be that the man is not really concern about your feelings and yet keep you intact with him, because that way it is feeding his ego. Next is, find out where it happen? although this might cause you a shock and emotional breakdown, there'll be a chance that you will be eager to know the place where they do it. For all you know, when you are not around they might spending the same bed you both shared, or it might also be that he must've been bringing his woman to the place that is special for you, and you thought was it also special for other women??

The will to know the truth, inhibits an urge to find out the missing facts in between you and your guy. Still you accept it even if the acts were made to fool you because you felt like you wont make it and that you cant take being away from the person, because you had been through alot and you think you will regret it, if you disassociate yourself with him. Some thoughts like these has always been turning point of the sensibilities and common sense. How it happen? Maybe, when you are busy relishing the dillusional fact that you are having a picture perfect relationship but you are lying on yourself and just fakin it because you dont wanna get hurt and dont wanna loose that person. Of course, things change when this occurs, your endearing sweetness will a little less likely to be slight cold. And you will be spinning on the web that only you and your secretive, emotional burdens knew.

When I realized that when the man that I used to adore and love had been a cheating liar, I was caught dumbstruck because I never understand why he did it to me. But men are insatiable in nature and cheating has somehow been a doormat case to me, diverting me as well to be a nutcase coz honestly I cant be honest and admit to myself that there is something wrong with our relationship. I allowed myself to be manipulated by someone that I put my trust on, and yet as I think about it now, well it wasn't a relationship after all. The painful truth is that when you know things will be getting worse if you get a pure talk with it, and find out what will be your next step. If you are hiding truth to yourself then the case is close..coz the only person to be blame is only you. If you ignore the lies, the betrayals, the gruesome pain, then hey, dont you think the guy is laughing his heart out enjoying the benefits of being able to deceive someone specially you? Are you sure that person loves you?? Well think again.

Love is not equated with lies, cheating and deceit, instead love is reap when you are honest and loyal, and faithful. Why women is always left to be cheated upon, I dont know. Maybe because in earlier days, women are always a domestic case. Men are always proud to be on top of their power, but c'mon, this is the new century we are facing and gender difference had long been gone. I hate men who tries to overpower women and uses effort to do what they want against women. Men will reasoned that women chooses to be in that particular hole because women are weak..they will tell you that you are the one who brings these things upon yourself, just like the person I used to know. So when somebody asked me if the guy cheats on me.,I will let go and fix myself, keep my life in a right direction, focus on career and avoid getting suck into the same circle. Be more careful when trusting someone and know more the person before even hitting the dating wagon.






***********************************************************************

*
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and
height.

Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.



2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this In mind if you are one of
those grouches;)



3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
*/


4. Enjoy the simple things.

*/

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots
of time with HIM/HER.


6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our
entire life, is yourself. LIVE while you are alive.



7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.



8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
if it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.



9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign
country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

*/

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?

But do share this with someone.

1 corinthians 13

love.......
And now I will show you the best way of all.

" I may speak in different languages of men or even angels. But if I don't have love, then I am only a noisy bell or a ringing cymbal. I may have the gift of prophecy ; I may understand all the secret things of God and all knowledge; and I may have the faith so great that I can move mountains. But even with all these things, if I don't have love, then I am nothing. I may give everything I have to feed people. And I may even give my body as an offering to be burned. But I gain nothing by doing these things if I don't have love."

"Love is patient, and love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not boast, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, love is not selfish, and love does not become angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. Love is not happy with evil but love is happy with the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. Love always trusts, always hopes, and always continues strong.

"Love never ends. There are gifts of prophecy, but they will be ended. There are gifts of speaking in different kinds of languages, but those gifts will end. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will be ended. These things will end, because this knowledge and these prophecies we have are not complete (not perfect). But when perfection comes, the things that are not complete will end. When I was a child, I talked liked a child; I thought like a child; I made plans like a child. When I became a man, I stopped those childish ways. It is the same with us. Now we see like we are looking into a dark mirror. But at that time, in the future, we shall see clearly. Now I know only a part. But at that time I will know fully, like God has known me. So these three things continue:
faith; hope; and love. And the greatest of these is love".

....funny thing .. love this...

Some people think that the more you’re embraced,
squeezed and touched, the more you’re loved. The
more you are made the exclusive property of
someone, the more you are cherished.

The more exclusive the relationship, the greater
the love.

There are people like this. The more they
control you, the more they
Say they love you. They don’t use the word
control because that’s not nice,
But control is exactly what it is.

Your luck cause I have a nice way of putting it.

“You see it in high school kids who are in love
with each other. They
are just locked in 100 percent in each other’s
company and if the guy or
gal so much as looks out of the corner of his
eye at anyone else, the other is hurt and
offended and angry. You see? This terrible
narrow and exclusive and jealous view of love is
as if there are only three and one-half pounds
of it in the world.

And I got all three and one-half pounds here and
I don’t dare give up a
bit of it.

Well, real love is the exact opposite of that.
It’s the funny thing
about it.

“The more you hold your hand open, the more
mercury you can hold in your hand. And the
tighter you squeeze it, the less room for the
mercury there is. Well, it’s the same with this
business of loving. And it’s an even funnier
thing in the sense that the more you give it
away, the more you have to give away. Because
the faster you give it away, the faster it comes
back tenfold. So the point of loving somebody is
that when you are together, that’s great. But
when you aren’t together, that’s great, too.”

Immature lovers always believe that they have to
guard each other instead of guarding their love.
They believe that by tying down the one they
love,
they can keep the beloved. They fail to
understand that love cannot be tied,
it cannot be controlled by the other.

How often do we see those insistent lovers who
won’t take no for an
answer. It’s as if they think that love is like
a piece of furniture that they can take home and
keep.

They are possessive and controlling. They
attempt to put love into a
bag and zip it up.

It doesn’t work, of course. Love isn’t like
that. It is living, breathing
and dynamic. Love is outgoing. It is giving and
sharing, not keeping. It is growth-giving, not
stifling. Genuine love multiplies itself. It
does not turn
in on itself.

When lovers try to disguise control and call it
love, it doesn’t work over the long term.
Perhaps in the beginning it might, but sooner
rather than later
it backfires.

“The more love there is,” says me, “the more
that comes out; the more you get back, so the
more there is. And in that kind of situation,
there is
plenty for everybody.”


1. Don't think in terms of forever. Think of
now, and forever will take
care of itself. Recognize that all relationships
cannot be forever. Recognize their temporary
quality, but continue to act as if they are
permanent.

2. Expect to invest a great deal of time and
energy in your relationships.
Lasting relationships don't just happen, they
are created.

3. Respect the other person's relationships
apart from you. If they are
important to the one you care about, they should
be important to you.

4. Never idealize others. They will never live
up to your expectations.

5. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give
too much, if you're giving
willingly.

6. Never force anyone to do anything for you "in
the name of love." Love is
not to be bargained for.

7. Don't allow experience to harden your heart;
rather use it to become
more aware and sensitive.

8. Don't lose touch with the craziness in you.
This, with a large dose of
caring, will assure that your relationship will
never be boring.

9. Don't brood. Get on with living and loving.
You don't have forever.

10. Always start a relationship by asking: Do I
have ulterior motives for
wanting to relate to this person? Is my caring
conditional? Am I trying to
escape something? Am I planning to change the
person? Do I need this person
to help me make up for a deficiency in myself?
If your answer to any of
these questions is "Yes", leave the person
alone. He or she is better
off without you.

11. Keep the child in you alive and playing.

12. Divorce, fighting, arguing will never solve
your problems; better
to try understanding, warmth and flexibility.

13. Stop going through life in self-pity, self-
blame and "mea culpa"
syndrome. We are not as bad as we think.

14. Write down all the reasons why you love each
person you relate with.
Then, when the going gets tough, take the list
out and reread it. It resolves problems quickly.

15. Don't be afraid of disagreements and
arguments, the only people who
don't argue are people who don't care or are
dead. In fact, don't have
short arguments. Make certain they are
thoroughly over and done with. After
an argument is over, forget it.

16. Watch out for little irritations, they grow
into destructive monsters. Verbalize them at
once.

17. Let go of pride. It is usually false,
creates barriers and prevents
closeness.

18. Acknowledge the humanness of the other.

19. Exercise feelings. Feelings have meaning
only as they are expressed
in action.

20. Be compassionate. It is the sure way to
understanding and acceptance.

21. See all criticism as positive for it leads
to self-evaluation. You
are always free to reject it if it is unfair or
does not apply.

22. Expect what is reasonable, NOT what is
perfect.

23. Stop playing games. A growing relationship
can only be nurtured by
GENUINENESS.

24. Even though you are only half of a
relationship, you must remain a
whole person, apart from the relationship.

25. Remember that moral and spiritual values
don't restrict, they PROTECT.

26. What you learn about yourself will
infinitely help in trying to understand others.

27. See problems as small MIRACLES which can
bring about KNOWLEDGE AND
CHANGE.

28. Don't allow your relationships to die of
NEGLECT.

SOMEONE SAID:
"Love is supposed to be the most wonderful
feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy
and strength. But sometimes the things that give
you joy can also hurt you in the end".fu

....funny thing .. love this...

Some people think that the more you’re embraced,
squeezed and touched, the more you’re loved. The
more you are made the exclusive property of
someone, the more you are cherished.

The more exclusive the relationship, the greater
the love.

There are people like this. The more they
control you, the more they
Say they love you. They don’t use the word
control because that’s not nice,
But control is exactly what it is.

Your luck cause I have a nice way of putting it.

“You see it in high school kids who are in love
with each other. They
are just locked in 100 percent in each other’s
company and if the guy or
gal so much as looks out of the corner of his
eye at anyone else, the other is hurt and
offended and angry. You see? This terrible
narrow and exclusive and jealous view of love is
as if there are only three and one-half pounds
of it in the world.

And I got all three and one-half pounds here and
I don’t dare give up a
bit of it.

Well, real love is the exact opposite of that.
It’s the funny thing
about it.

“The more you hold your hand open, the more
mercury you can hold in your hand. And the
tighter you squeeze it, the less room for the
mercury there is. Well, it’s the same with this
business of loving. And it’s an even funnier
thing in the sense that the more you give it
away, the more you have to give away. Because
the faster you give it away, the faster it comes
back tenfold. So the point of loving somebody is
that when you are together, that’s great. But
when you aren’t together, that’s great, too.”

Immature lovers always believe that they have to
guard each other instead of guarding their love.
They believe that by tying down the one they
love,
they can keep the beloved. They fail to
understand that love cannot be tied,
it cannot be controlled by the other.

How often do we see those insistent lovers who
won’t take no for an
answer. It’s as if they think that love is like
a piece of furniture that they can take home and
keep.

They are possessive and controlling. They
attempt to put love into a
bag and zip it up.

It doesn’t work, of course. Love isn’t like
that. It is living, breathing
and dynamic. Love is outgoing. It is giving and
sharing, not keeping. It is growth-giving, not
stifling. Genuine love multiplies itself. It
does not turn
in on itself.

When lovers try to disguise control and call it
love, it doesn’t work over the long term.
Perhaps in the beginning it might, but sooner
rather than later
it backfires.

“The more love there is,” says me, “the more
that comes out; the more you get back, so the
more there is. And in that kind of situation,
there is
plenty for everybody.”


1. Don't think in terms of forever. Think of
now, and forever will take
care of itself. Recognize that all relationships
cannot be forever. Recognize their temporary
quality, but continue to act as if they are
permanent.

2. Expect to invest a great deal of time and
energy in your relationships.
Lasting relationships don't just happen, they
are created.

3. Respect the other person's relationships
apart from you. If they are
important to the one you care about, they should
be important to you.

4. Never idealize others. They will never live
up to your expectations.

5. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give
too much, if you're giving
willingly.

6. Never force anyone to do anything for you "in
the name of love." Love is
not to be bargained for.

7. Don't allow experience to harden your heart;
rather use it to become
more aware and sensitive.

8. Don't lose touch with the craziness in you.
This, with a large dose of
caring, will assure that your relationship will
never be boring.

9. Don't brood. Get on with living and loving.
You don't have forever.

10. Always start a relationship by asking: Do I
have ulterior motives for
wanting to relate to this person? Is my caring
conditional? Am I trying to
escape something? Am I planning to change the
person? Do I need this person
to help me make up for a deficiency in myself?
If your answer to any of
these questions is "Yes", leave the person
alone. He or she is better
off without you.

11. Keep the child in you alive and playing.

12. Divorce, fighting, arguing will never solve
your problems; better
to try understanding, warmth and flexibility.

13. Stop going through life in self-pity, self-
blame and "mea culpa"
syndrome. We are not as bad as we think.

14. Write down all the reasons why you love each
person you relate with.
Then, when the going gets tough, take the list
out and reread it. It resolves problems quickly.

15. Don't be afraid of disagreements and
arguments, the only people who
don't argue are people who don't care or are
dead. In fact, don't have
short arguments. Make certain they are
thoroughly over and done with. After
an argument is over, forget it.

16. Watch out for little irritations, they grow
into destructive monsters. Verbalize them at
once.

17. Let go of pride. It is usually false,
creates barriers and prevents
closeness.

18. Acknowledge the humanness of the other.

19. Exercise feelings. Feelings have meaning
only as they are expressed
in action.

20. Be compassionate. It is the sure way to
understanding and acceptance.

21. See all criticism as positive for it leads
to self-evaluation. You
are always free to reject it if it is unfair or
does not apply.

22. Expect what is reasonable, NOT what is
perfect.

23. Stop playing games. A growing relationship
can only be nurtured by
GENUINENESS.

24. Even though you are only half of a
relationship, you must remain a
whole person, apart from the relationship.

25. Remember that moral and spiritual values
don't restrict, they PROTECT.

26. What you learn about yourself will
infinitely help in trying to understand others.

27. See problems as small MIRACLES which can
bring about KNOWLEDGE AND
CHANGE.

28. Don't allow your relationships to die of
NEGLECT.

SOMEONE SAID:
"Love is supposed to be the most wonderful
feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy
and strength. But sometimes the things that give
you joy can also hurt you in the end".fu