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footnotes in my head
when a man cheats, is it over?? by sajhi
Related to country: Philippines
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While I was watching Oprah's show this afternoon, from which the topic was concerning about the way to cope up when a man
cheats on a woman, it somehow hit a nerve on me; that whatever I was doing about that time was put to halt. I clinged to the discussions as though it will give me a heave-ho again from the past and somehow would hear more from what I think I already knew, or so to speak. Oprah blabbers, is it really over when your man cheats on you? Will it make you more sensible to better pay attention to the person who hurt you and maybe will hurt you still, or just do something about it instead? Will it be difficult to be honest about the way you feel and just cover things up, so that no one gets frustrated, not even you- as the victim of infidelity? Will it be the motivating factor for you to find out the answers from the questions most commonly asked; what made it happen?what went wrong, was it me or was it him?
Dr. Phil, says the need to seek truth will bring forth much agony and a memory trauma. And the way to avoid these, you must extract facts of the details of the events or of the affair. Start with the basics;
why it happens? the situation might be crucial when you dont know why the guy cheats on you and you are prone to think that you are the reason.Or it might be that the man is not really concern about your feelings and yet keep you intact with him, because that way it is feeding his ego. Next is, find out where it happen? although this might cause you a shock and emotional breakdown, there'll be a chance that you will be eager to know the place where they do it. For all you know, when you are not around they might spending the same bed you both shared, or it might also be that he must've been bringing his woman to the place that is special for you, and you thought was it also special for other women??
The will to know the truth, inhibits an urge to find out the missing facts in between you and your guy. Still you accept it even if the acts were made to fool you because you felt like you wont make it and that you cant take being away from the person, because you had been through alot and you think you will regret it, if you disassociate yourself with him. Some thoughts like these has always been turning point of the sensibilities and common sense. How it happen? Maybe, when you are busy relishing the dillusional fact that you are having a picture perfect relationship but you are lying on yourself and just fakin it because you dont wanna get hurt and dont wanna loose that person. Of course, things change when this occurs, your endearing sweetness will a little less likely to be slight cold. And you will be spinning on the web that only you and your secretive, emotional burdens knew.
When I realized that when the man that I used to adore and love had been a cheating liar, I was caught dumbstruck because I never understand why he did it to me. But men are insatiable in nature and cheating has somehow been a doormat case to me, diverting me as well to be a nutcase coz honestly I cant be honest and admit to myself that there is something wrong with our relationship. I allowed myself to be manipulated by someone that I put my trust on, and yet as I think about it now, well it wasn't a relationship after all. The painful truth is that when you know things will be getting worse if you get a pure talk with it, and find out what will be your next step. If you are hiding truth to yourself then the case is close..coz the only person to be blame is only you. If you ignore the lies, the betrayals, the gruesome pain, then hey, dont you think the guy is laughing his heart out enjoying the benefits of being able to deceive someone specially you? Are you sure that person loves you?? Well think again.
Love is not equated with lies, cheating and deceit, instead love is reap when you are honest and loyal, and faithful. Why women is always left to be cheated upon, I dont know. Maybe because in earlier days, women are always a domestic case. Men are always proud to be on top of their power, but c'mon, this is the new century we are facing and gender difference had long been gone. I hate men who tries to overpower women and uses effort to do what they want against women. Men will reasoned that women chooses to be in that particular hole because women are weak..they will tell you that you are the one who brings these things upon yourself, just like the person I used to know. So when somebody asked me if the guy cheats on me.,I will let go and fix myself, keep my life in a right direction, focus on career and avoid getting suck into the same circle. Be more careful when trusting someone and know more the person before even hitting the dating wagon.
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| September 12, 2005 | 5:33 PM |
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HOW TO STAY YOUNG
Related to country: Philippines
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*
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and
height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this In mind if you are one of
those grouches;)
3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
*/
4. Enjoy the simple things.
*/
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots
of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our
entire life, is yourself. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
if it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign
country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
*/
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.
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| September 12, 2005 | 2:39 PM |
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love as said in the bible
Related to country: Philippines
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1 corinthians 13
love.......
And now I will show you the best way of all.
" I may speak in different languages of men or even angels. But if I don't have love, then I am only a noisy bell or a ringing cymbal. I may have the gift of prophecy ; I may understand all the secret things of God and all knowledge; and I may have the faith so great that I can move mountains. But even with all these things, if I don't have love, then I am nothing. I may give everything I have to feed people. And I may even give my body as an offering to be burned. But I gain nothing by doing these things if I don't have love."
"Love is patient, and love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not boast, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, love is not selfish, and love does not become angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. Love is not happy with evil but love is happy with the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. Love always trusts, always hopes, and always continues strong.
"Love never ends. There are gifts of prophecy, but they will be ended. There are gifts of speaking in different kinds of languages, but those gifts will end. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will be ended. These things will end, because this knowledge and these prophecies we have are not complete (not perfect). But when perfection comes, the things that are not complete will end. When I was a child, I talked liked a child; I thought like a child; I made plans like a child. When I became a man, I stopped those childish ways. It is the same with us. Now we see like we are looking into a dark mirror. But at that time, in the future, we shall see clearly. Now I know only a part. But at that time I will know fully, like God has known me. So these three things continue:
faith; hope; and love. And the greatest of these is love".
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| September 9, 2005 | 5:12 PM |
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